oh, how time flies.

it has been almost a month since the last post.
that means that the semester is now half way done.
and i am 1/4 of the way through my last year of undergrad.
oh, how time flies.

So, what has happened in the past month?
A lot of work. A lot of school. A lot of studying. A lot of Cru. Very little sleep. Working at Zumberge and at Target definitely keeps me beyond busy, but I'm very thankful for two jobs (plus the occasional babysitting). School is insane... My "easy blow-off class" has become the one I spend the majority of my time on. Thankfully, my exams are spread out so I have one every week. The downside to this is that I don't have an "off week" at all. But, I am managing, for the most part... I only have had one night where I got less than two hours of sleep haha. Cru has also been very overwhelming in addition to all of the other stuff I have going on, but fall retreat was this past weekend, and it was so so so great. It was just a refreshing time to be with friends, focus on my relationship with God and spend time with Him without the distractions of school and work. Another wonderful bonus about the weekend? Some of the Dutch staff from Agape were there! It was so good to see them again, and hearing them talk with their Dutch accents was spectacular, although it made me miss Rotterdam like crazy! Now, this week (week 8 of the semester) is over... and it has arguably been the most unproductive week of my life. I blame this disgusting, 45 degree, windy rainy weather. It makes my bed the most comfortable place to be :)

This weekend will consist of 12 hours of work and a day trip to Ann Arbor to see Green River Ordinance and Boyce Avenue in concert with two of my lovely former roomies! And 14 days from right now? I'll be eating dinner in Nashville, TN and reminding myself to stay calm and keep breathing. I have an interview with Belmont University's School of Physical Therapy, the morning of Friday November 4th! Prayers = greatly appreciated.

I'll try to post again soon...
but oh, how time flies.

live in the moment.

It has been an absolutely insane week.
And honestly, that is an understatement.

Getting back into the swing of managing school, work, Cru, friends and sleep has been a struggle. I don't see my friends nearly as often as I would like, I got less than 5 hours of sleep multiple nights this past week, and I'm feeling like all of the things on my schedule, added together, are aiming to kill me.

I'm not the girl who thrives under stress. I'm not the girl who functions well on little sleep. I'm not the girl who can go non-stop for 16 hours straight. And because I'm not that girl, I find myself living for the weekends... telling myself "Erin, you just need to make it through Thursday night... then you can relax, sleep, work a little bit, and catch up on homework." ... And I hate it.


I want to live in the moment.

I am blessed to be a stressed out college student. I am blessed to have two jobs. I am blessed to have friends that I wish I could see more often. I am blessed to be involved in an amazing ministry. I am blessed to live the life that I do. Even when I have those crazy, non-stop 16 hour days, I don't want to wish them away. I want to enjoy the little things and soak everything in. Walking towards the sunrise as I head to campus to study at 7am. Being able to have friends in classes, and laugh about our crazy professors. Drinking coffee and laughing with a friend instead of studying like we should. These are the moments that I will never get back.

This semester is 1/4 gone... Senior year is 1/8 gone. It's going by quickly, and as life gets even busier, time will fly even faster.

I want to live in the moment.

motivation.

I have absolutely no motivation.
I have 100+ pages to read for Microbiology.
And yet I find myself on the internet and watching the Emmy's Red Carpet.
I know the longer I procrastinate, the less sleep I will get. But, I cannot bring myself to buckle down and read.

Motivation, I don't know where you're hiding... but this semester is officially in full swing and I would greatly appreciate it if you came out of hiding and made yourself comfortable in my life again. Okay? Okay!

Time to get some work done.
Bah.

the little things.

Two weeks.
Two weeks into my senior year.
Two weeks of an insane schedule done.

What have I learned in the past two weeks?
I've learned about microbes... about immigration in the United States... about social psychology... about metabolism and macromolecules... about new procedures at work... how to do fifty different things at Target. I've learned I've learned that when things feel completely out of control, it is okay to take a step back and give up... because regardless of my need to control things, the world can survive without my stressing over little things. I've learned that in the midst of craziness, God is good.

I've learned to appreciate the little things.

A funny text. Getting out of class a little early. A beautiful sunset. A good meal. My snooze button. Venting with my roomie. Catching up with friends I haven't seen since last spring. Playing with toddlers. Getting an hour break to take a nap.

Appreciating the little things and relying on God, I will survive the craziness that is Fall Semester.

Two weeks down.
Fourteen to go.

growing pains.

I've been the same height since the age of 13; I thought I was done with growing pains. Welp, I was wrong. The difference? Instead of throbbing knees, growing pains have arrived in the form of change and stress.

Living in a new apartment. Missing friends who have graduated. Feeling disconnected from a lot of the people I was close with last year. Working two jobs (three if babysitting counts - and I say it does count). Living paycheck-to-paycheck. Applying to grad schools. Working out kinks in the new leadership structure of [Cru.].

This last week of summer has been stressful. But what was I expecting? The whole summer was stressful, so why would the last week be calm? Tomorrow marks the beginning of my last year as an undergrad student. The beginning of year number four. And even though I'm not ready to be this old, this responsible... I know that it is going to be an amazing year. God is going to use these growing pains to rock my world. Big things are going to happen. And I'm excited to see it all unfold.


Fall Semester 2011, it's on.

change sucks.

Yep. I said it. Change sucks.

I am not a fan. I used to somewhat enjoy changes in my life - new classes, new friends, new living situations, new people, new places, etc. But now? I'm not a fan at all. Summer is ending in 3 weeks. I have been looking forward to this month of August since May - being able to move back to Allendale, being done with Target for the school year, and preparing for new classes - all sorts of changes. However, now that August is actually here, I'm hating it.

Don't get me wrong, I am looking forward to being settled in Allendale, living with my best friend again, and being near all of my friends. But packing, leaving home, moving, buying school supplies, blah blah blah. I hate it all. At this point, I would be content with another month or two of summer. I've finally become accustomed to the craziness that this summer has been, and now everything is changing again. Like I said - not a fan.

However, one thing isn't changing. I'm not leaving Target. I never thought I would say this, but I actually like my job (most days). And I love the people I work with. They're so great. And after "deciding" a week and a half ago that I would be taking Academic Leave again this year, I haven't stopped thinking "What if I didn't have to?" ... so I'm not. One day a week I will still get to see the coworkers that I love, and make a little easy money folding clothes and answering phones. That little piece of my life isn't changing. And for right now, I'm ecstatic about that... because the rest of these changes... I'm just not ready for 'em.

The biggest change that has me completely freaking out? This is my SENIOR year of college. I'm not old enough for this. I'm not old enough to be submitting grad school applications, requesting official transcripts, collecting letters of recommendation, gathering PT observation hours. It's all just a little bit overwhelming right now...

And being overwhelmed means it is time for sleep.
Goodnight.

half way there.

Summer is officially half over ... Cue depressed thoughts. But seriously, this summer is flying by. It's been a decent summer, but the amount of time I've spent having fun is practically negative. After 8 weeks of studying, test-taking, PT observing, retail-working, gas-buying and tuition-paying, I can decisively say that growing up is no fun.

That summer to-do list in my last post? The only thing I've managed to knock off it is a visit to Stony Lake (which by the way, is just not the same as spending a week there). Did I mention growing up sucks? Mackinac is this weekend. A Tiger's game is two weeks after that. Summer, we've got 8 weeks left. I've got 5.5 weeks left of class. And probably 6 weeks left of work. That leaves two weeks to get in a trip to Chicago to visit a wonderful friend, a trip to Cedar Point to ride some coasters and soaking up as much sunshine as possible before it's too late.

Final thought: July starts tomorrow. Which means in 32 days, I will again have a home in Allendale. Happy days!