It has been an absolutely insane week.
And honestly, that is an understatement.
Getting back into the swing of managing school, work, Cru, friends and sleep has been a struggle. I don't see my friends nearly as often as I would like, I got less than 5 hours of sleep multiple nights this past week, and I'm feeling like all of the things on my schedule, added together, are aiming to kill me.
I'm not the girl who thrives under stress. I'm not the girl who functions well on little sleep. I'm not the girl who can go non-stop for 16 hours straight. And because I'm not that girl, I find myself living for the weekends... telling myself "Erin, you just need to make it through Thursday night... then you can relax, sleep, work a little bit, and catch up on homework." ... And I hate it.
I want to live in the moment.
I am blessed to be a stressed out college student. I am blessed to have two jobs. I am blessed to have friends that I wish I could see more often. I am blessed to be involved in an amazing ministry. I am blessed to live the life that I do. Even when I have those crazy, non-stop 16 hour days, I don't want to wish them away. I want to enjoy the little things and soak everything in. Walking towards the sunrise as I head to campus to study at 7am. Being able to have friends in classes, and laugh about our crazy professors. Drinking coffee and laughing with a friend instead of studying like we should. These are the moments that I will never get back.
This semester is 1/4 gone... Senior year is 1/8 gone. It's going by quickly, and as life gets even busier, time will fly even faster.
I want to live in the moment.
Saturday, September 24, 2011
Sunday, September 18, 2011
motivation.
I have absolutely no motivation.
I have 100+ pages to read for Microbiology.
And yet I find myself on the internet and watching the Emmy's Red Carpet.
I know the longer I procrastinate, the less sleep I will get. But, I cannot bring myself to buckle down and read.
Motivation, I don't know where you're hiding... but this semester is officially in full swing and I would greatly appreciate it if you came out of hiding and made yourself comfortable in my life again. Okay? Okay!
Time to get some work done.
Bah.
I have 100+ pages to read for Microbiology.
And yet I find myself on the internet and watching the Emmy's Red Carpet.
I know the longer I procrastinate, the less sleep I will get. But, I cannot bring myself to buckle down and read.
Motivation, I don't know where you're hiding... but this semester is officially in full swing and I would greatly appreciate it if you came out of hiding and made yourself comfortable in my life again. Okay? Okay!
Time to get some work done.
Bah.
Saturday, September 10, 2011
the little things.
Two weeks.
Two weeks into my senior year.
Two weeks of an insane schedule done.
What have I learned in the past two weeks?
I've learned about microbes... about immigration in the United States... about social psychology... about metabolism and macromolecules... about new procedures at work... how to do fifty different things at Target. I've learned I've learned that when things feel completely out of control, it is okay to take a step back and give up... because regardless of my need to control things, the world can survive without my stressing over little things. I've learned that in the midst of craziness, God is good.
I've learned to appreciate the little things.
A funny text. Getting out of class a little early. A beautiful sunset. A good meal. My snooze button. Venting with my roomie. Catching up with friends I haven't seen since last spring. Playing with toddlers. Getting an hour break to take a nap.
Appreciating the little things and relying on God, I will survive the craziness that is Fall Semester.
Two weeks down.
Fourteen to go.
Two weeks into my senior year.
Two weeks of an insane schedule done.
What have I learned in the past two weeks?
I've learned about microbes... about immigration in the United States... about social psychology... about metabolism and macromolecules... about new procedures at work... how to do fifty different things at Target. I've learned I've learned that when things feel completely out of control, it is okay to take a step back and give up... because regardless of my need to control things, the world can survive without my stressing over little things. I've learned that in the midst of craziness, God is good.
I've learned to appreciate the little things.
A funny text. Getting out of class a little early. A beautiful sunset. A good meal. My snooze button. Venting with my roomie. Catching up with friends I haven't seen since last spring. Playing with toddlers. Getting an hour break to take a nap.
Appreciating the little things and relying on God, I will survive the craziness that is Fall Semester.
Two weeks down.
Fourteen to go.
Sunday, August 28, 2011
growing pains.
I've been the same height since the age of 13; I thought I was done with growing pains. Welp, I was wrong. The difference? Instead of throbbing knees, growing pains have arrived in the form of change and stress.
Living in a new apartment. Missing friends who have graduated. Feeling disconnected from a lot of the people I was close with last year. Working two jobs (three if babysitting counts - and I say it does count). Living paycheck-to-paycheck. Applying to grad schools. Working out kinks in the new leadership structure of [Cru.].
This last week of summer has been stressful. But what was I expecting? The whole summer was stressful, so why would the last week be calm? Tomorrow marks the beginning of my last year as an undergrad student. The beginning of year number four. And even though I'm not ready to be this old, this responsible... I know that it is going to be an amazing year. God is going to use these growing pains to rock my world. Big things are going to happen. And I'm excited to see it all unfold.
Fall Semester 2011, it's on.
Living in a new apartment. Missing friends who have graduated. Feeling disconnected from a lot of the people I was close with last year. Working two jobs (three if babysitting counts - and I say it does count). Living paycheck-to-paycheck. Applying to grad schools. Working out kinks in the new leadership structure of [Cru.].
This last week of summer has been stressful. But what was I expecting? The whole summer was stressful, so why would the last week be calm? Tomorrow marks the beginning of my last year as an undergrad student. The beginning of year number four. And even though I'm not ready to be this old, this responsible... I know that it is going to be an amazing year. God is going to use these growing pains to rock my world. Big things are going to happen. And I'm excited to see it all unfold.
Fall Semester 2011, it's on.
Monday, August 8, 2011
change sucks.
Yep. I said it. Change sucks.
I am not a fan. I used to somewhat enjoy changes in my life - new classes, new friends, new living situations, new people, new places, etc. But now? I'm not a fan at all. Summer is ending in 3 weeks. I have been looking forward to this month of August since May - being able to move back to Allendale, being done with Target for the school year, and preparing for new classes - all sorts of changes. However, now that August is actually here, I'm hating it.
Don't get me wrong, I am looking forward to being settled in Allendale, living with my best friend again, and being near all of my friends. But packing, leaving home, moving, buying school supplies, blah blah blah. I hate it all. At this point, I would be content with another month or two of summer. I've finally become accustomed to the craziness that this summer has been, and now everything is changing again. Like I said - not a fan.
However, one thing isn't changing. I'm not leaving Target. I never thought I would say this, but I actually like my job (most days). And I love the people I work with. They're so great. And after "deciding" a week and a half ago that I would be taking Academic Leave again this year, I haven't stopped thinking "What if I didn't have to?" ... so I'm not. One day a week I will still get to see the coworkers that I love, and make a little easy money folding clothes and answering phones. That little piece of my life isn't changing. And for right now, I'm ecstatic about that... because the rest of these changes... I'm just not ready for 'em.
The biggest change that has me completely freaking out? This is my SENIOR year of college. I'm not old enough for this. I'm not old enough to be submitting grad school applications, requesting official transcripts, collecting letters of recommendation, gathering PT observation hours. It's all just a little bit overwhelming right now...
And being overwhelmed means it is time for sleep.
Goodnight.
I am not a fan. I used to somewhat enjoy changes in my life - new classes, new friends, new living situations, new people, new places, etc. But now? I'm not a fan at all. Summer is ending in 3 weeks. I have been looking forward to this month of August since May - being able to move back to Allendale, being done with Target for the school year, and preparing for new classes - all sorts of changes. However, now that August is actually here, I'm hating it.
Don't get me wrong, I am looking forward to being settled in Allendale, living with my best friend again, and being near all of my friends. But packing, leaving home, moving, buying school supplies, blah blah blah. I hate it all. At this point, I would be content with another month or two of summer. I've finally become accustomed to the craziness that this summer has been, and now everything is changing again. Like I said - not a fan.
However, one thing isn't changing. I'm not leaving Target. I never thought I would say this, but I actually like my job (most days). And I love the people I work with. They're so great. And after "deciding" a week and a half ago that I would be taking Academic Leave again this year, I haven't stopped thinking "What if I didn't have to?" ... so I'm not. One day a week I will still get to see the coworkers that I love, and make a little easy money folding clothes and answering phones. That little piece of my life isn't changing. And for right now, I'm ecstatic about that... because the rest of these changes... I'm just not ready for 'em.
The biggest change that has me completely freaking out? This is my SENIOR year of college. I'm not old enough for this. I'm not old enough to be submitting grad school applications, requesting official transcripts, collecting letters of recommendation, gathering PT observation hours. It's all just a little bit overwhelming right now...
And being overwhelmed means it is time for sleep.
Goodnight.
Thursday, June 30, 2011
half way there.
Summer is officially half over ... Cue depressed thoughts. But seriously, this summer is flying by. It's been a decent summer, but the amount of time I've spent having fun is practically negative. After 8 weeks of studying, test-taking, PT observing, retail-working, gas-buying and tuition-paying, I can decisively say that growing up is no fun.
That summer to-do list in my last post? The only thing I've managed to knock off it is a visit to Stony Lake (which by the way, is just not the same as spending a week there). Did I mention growing up sucks? Mackinac is this weekend. A Tiger's game is two weeks after that. Summer, we've got 8 weeks left. I've got 5.5 weeks left of class. And probably 6 weeks left of work. That leaves two weeks to get in a trip to Chicago to visit a wonderful friend, a trip to Cedar Point to ride some coasters and soaking up as much sunshine as possible before it's too late.
Final thought: July starts tomorrow. Which means in 32 days, I will again have a home in Allendale. Happy days!
That summer to-do list in my last post? The only thing I've managed to knock off it is a visit to Stony Lake (which by the way, is just not the same as spending a week there). Did I mention growing up sucks? Mackinac is this weekend. A Tiger's game is two weeks after that. Summer, we've got 8 weeks left. I've got 5.5 weeks left of class. And probably 6 weeks left of work. That leaves two weeks to get in a trip to Chicago to visit a wonderful friend, a trip to Cedar Point to ride some coasters and soaking up as much sunshine as possible before it's too late.
Final thought: July starts tomorrow. Which means in 32 days, I will again have a home in Allendale. Happy days!
Friday, May 6, 2011
Home Again, Home Again, Jiggity Jig.
Well, after a full day of packing my car and cleaning my apartment, followed by two and half days of unloading, cleaning, purging old stuff, unpacking and organizing, I am finally all settled in.
I've been "home" for less than three days, and I miss Allendale like woah. These next three months may be a little rough. Don't get me wrong, I love my parents... but I miss my roommates... I miss not having to answer questions about where I'm going, when I'll be back or whether or not I'll be home for dinner... I miss being able to see my friends because they're only 5 minutes away... I miss home. Because as a friend said last week, "If home is where the heart is, then I've departed."
The bright side? I'm taking summer classes. 40% of me views this as the dark side - it's summer, and I'm going to be spending 10 hours a week in class + 3 to 5 more hours every week doing an online class. Gross. However, the other 60% of me is rejoicing that I get to be in Allendale two days a week all summer long, and I don't have to feel bad about the gas I'm using because it's for class! Seeing friends while I'm at it? Duh - I'm going to make every penny I spend on gas totally worth the 81 mile (round trip) commute.
So, I start classes again on Monday. I'm babysitting tomorrow night and Monday night. I start working at Target again in ~9 days. I need to start studying for the GRE, because I'm taking it in less than a month and have no idea what to expect. I need to contact people about shadowing and volunteering to get PT hours. For my sanity, I need to hang out with my friends. And the best thing on my agenda? In 9 days, my best friend will be back in the good ole Mitten, and then we will be reunited after 3.5 months apart.
Other things on the summer "bucket list" include Cedar Point, at least one Tiger's game, several Grand Haven trips, tubing on Hess Lake, a trip to Chicago, a trip to Mackinac Island and hopefully at least one visit to Stony Lake.
This summer is going to be busy, to say the least. But I'm feeling ready for it! Alright, Summer 2011, let's do this.
I've been "home" for less than three days, and I miss Allendale like woah. These next three months may be a little rough. Don't get me wrong, I love my parents... but I miss my roommates... I miss not having to answer questions about where I'm going, when I'll be back or whether or not I'll be home for dinner... I miss being able to see my friends because they're only 5 minutes away... I miss home. Because as a friend said last week, "If home is where the heart is, then I've departed."
The bright side? I'm taking summer classes. 40% of me views this as the dark side - it's summer, and I'm going to be spending 10 hours a week in class + 3 to 5 more hours every week doing an online class. Gross. However, the other 60% of me is rejoicing that I get to be in Allendale two days a week all summer long, and I don't have to feel bad about the gas I'm using because it's for class! Seeing friends while I'm at it? Duh - I'm going to make every penny I spend on gas totally worth the 81 mile (round trip) commute.
So, I start classes again on Monday. I'm babysitting tomorrow night and Monday night. I start working at Target again in ~9 days. I need to start studying for the GRE, because I'm taking it in less than a month and have no idea what to expect. I need to contact people about shadowing and volunteering to get PT hours. For my sanity, I need to hang out with my friends. And the best thing on my agenda? In 9 days, my best friend will be back in the good ole Mitten, and then we will be reunited after 3.5 months apart.
Other things on the summer "bucket list" include Cedar Point, at least one Tiger's game, several Grand Haven trips, tubing on Hess Lake, a trip to Chicago, a trip to Mackinac Island and hopefully at least one visit to Stony Lake.
This summer is going to be busy, to say the least. But I'm feeling ready for it! Alright, Summer 2011, let's do this.
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