I've been the same height since the age of 13; I thought I was done with growing pains. Welp, I was wrong. The difference? Instead of throbbing knees, growing pains have arrived in the form of change and stress.
Living in a new apartment. Missing friends who have graduated. Feeling disconnected from a lot of the people I was close with last year. Working two jobs (three if babysitting counts - and I say it does count). Living paycheck-to-paycheck. Applying to grad schools. Working out kinks in the new leadership structure of [Cru.].
This last week of summer has been stressful. But what was I expecting? The whole summer was stressful, so why would the last week be calm? Tomorrow marks the beginning of my last year as an undergrad student. The beginning of year number four. And even though I'm not ready to be this old, this responsible... I know that it is going to be an amazing year. God is going to use these growing pains to rock my world. Big things are going to happen. And I'm excited to see it all unfold.
Fall Semester 2011, it's on.
Sunday, August 28, 2011
Monday, August 8, 2011
change sucks.
Yep. I said it. Change sucks.
I am not a fan. I used to somewhat enjoy changes in my life - new classes, new friends, new living situations, new people, new places, etc. But now? I'm not a fan at all. Summer is ending in 3 weeks. I have been looking forward to this month of August since May - being able to move back to Allendale, being done with Target for the school year, and preparing for new classes - all sorts of changes. However, now that August is actually here, I'm hating it.
Don't get me wrong, I am looking forward to being settled in Allendale, living with my best friend again, and being near all of my friends. But packing, leaving home, moving, buying school supplies, blah blah blah. I hate it all. At this point, I would be content with another month or two of summer. I've finally become accustomed to the craziness that this summer has been, and now everything is changing again. Like I said - not a fan.
However, one thing isn't changing. I'm not leaving Target. I never thought I would say this, but I actually like my job (most days). And I love the people I work with. They're so great. And after "deciding" a week and a half ago that I would be taking Academic Leave again this year, I haven't stopped thinking "What if I didn't have to?" ... so I'm not. One day a week I will still get to see the coworkers that I love, and make a little easy money folding clothes and answering phones. That little piece of my life isn't changing. And for right now, I'm ecstatic about that... because the rest of these changes... I'm just not ready for 'em.
The biggest change that has me completely freaking out? This is my SENIOR year of college. I'm not old enough for this. I'm not old enough to be submitting grad school applications, requesting official transcripts, collecting letters of recommendation, gathering PT observation hours. It's all just a little bit overwhelming right now...
And being overwhelmed means it is time for sleep.
Goodnight.
I am not a fan. I used to somewhat enjoy changes in my life - new classes, new friends, new living situations, new people, new places, etc. But now? I'm not a fan at all. Summer is ending in 3 weeks. I have been looking forward to this month of August since May - being able to move back to Allendale, being done with Target for the school year, and preparing for new classes - all sorts of changes. However, now that August is actually here, I'm hating it.
Don't get me wrong, I am looking forward to being settled in Allendale, living with my best friend again, and being near all of my friends. But packing, leaving home, moving, buying school supplies, blah blah blah. I hate it all. At this point, I would be content with another month or two of summer. I've finally become accustomed to the craziness that this summer has been, and now everything is changing again. Like I said - not a fan.
However, one thing isn't changing. I'm not leaving Target. I never thought I would say this, but I actually like my job (most days). And I love the people I work with. They're so great. And after "deciding" a week and a half ago that I would be taking Academic Leave again this year, I haven't stopped thinking "What if I didn't have to?" ... so I'm not. One day a week I will still get to see the coworkers that I love, and make a little easy money folding clothes and answering phones. That little piece of my life isn't changing. And for right now, I'm ecstatic about that... because the rest of these changes... I'm just not ready for 'em.
The biggest change that has me completely freaking out? This is my SENIOR year of college. I'm not old enough for this. I'm not old enough to be submitting grad school applications, requesting official transcripts, collecting letters of recommendation, gathering PT observation hours. It's all just a little bit overwhelming right now...
And being overwhelmed means it is time for sleep.
Goodnight.
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