so blessed.

Driving home after a night of babysitting, the thought hit me - I am so blessed.

Why am I blessed?

#1. I was accepted to CMU's Physical Therapy program! It's not my first choice school, but regardless of the rejection I received from GVSU and the decisions I am still waiting on, I will be attending PT school somewhere next year, and I will be one step closer to my goal! God is good.

#2. My roommate, friends and family are amazing. Through the ups and downs of this semester, so many people have been there to listen to me vent, to laugh with, to study with and to just bum around with. Even though Fall 2011 will go down in the books as "Suckiest Semester of College" ... without all of the amazing people in my life, it could have and would have been a lot worse.

#3. FINALS ARE DONE. IT'S CHRISTMAS BREAK. THANK YOU, LORD.

#4. I have some pretty awesome jobs. The library - easy work, fun people to work with. Target - stressful some days, super fun other days... but the girls I work with and the managers I have - so great. There isn't a shift that goes by, no matter how horrible, that I don't spend a decent amount of time laughing. How can that be bad? And finally, babysitting - the best of the three jobs! Two families, but all of this is true - the kids are smart, sassy and hilarious. Eating chicken nuggets for dinner, playing tag in a basement and watching Charlie Brown ... it's good for the soul. Not to mention, all of the parents are some of the best people ever - I love chatting about life with some wise moms when they get home from a night out and the kids are sound asleep.

#5. It may be 2:15am, but I have no alarm set. Sleeping til noon is 100% on the agenda for my Saturday, and after the longest 16 weeks of my life - that is a beautiful blessing.

See? I told ya I'm blessed :)

it'll get better.

it'll get better.

those are the words my dad said to me as he shut my car door when i was leaving home to drive back to school tonight. i don't know why those three little words set me off, but i barely managed to back away and start driving down the driveway before i completely lost it. i rarely cry, but when i do, it is usually because i'm ridiculously stressed. i spent the first 15 minutes of my drive back to allendale bawling. hello, my name is erin, and i am beyond stressed out.

thanksgiving "break" consisted of this girl spending three hours doing homework, working ridiculous hours (thank you, black friday) and spending time with extended family. there was no break involved. and now that i'm back at school, i have a huge exam to study for (in a class i'm barely passing) and a six page paper to write. annnnd yet, i find myself typing this instead of doing either of those things. oops.

even though the last five days have been anything but relaxing, and i'm exhausted and stressed, i'm not freaking out. i know that i won't be sleeping much the next three nights. i know that everything will get done. and i know that everything will be okay. i know that God has it all under control - every silly little detail of my life. despite me not having a clue what the future holds, God knows. and i'm clinging to that truth. because even though life is stressful, hectic and crazy right now... it'll get better.

oh, how time flies.

it has been almost a month since the last post.
that means that the semester is now half way done.
and i am 1/4 of the way through my last year of undergrad.
oh, how time flies.

So, what has happened in the past month?
A lot of work. A lot of school. A lot of studying. A lot of Cru. Very little sleep. Working at Zumberge and at Target definitely keeps me beyond busy, but I'm very thankful for two jobs (plus the occasional babysitting). School is insane... My "easy blow-off class" has become the one I spend the majority of my time on. Thankfully, my exams are spread out so I have one every week. The downside to this is that I don't have an "off week" at all. But, I am managing, for the most part... I only have had one night where I got less than two hours of sleep haha. Cru has also been very overwhelming in addition to all of the other stuff I have going on, but fall retreat was this past weekend, and it was so so so great. It was just a refreshing time to be with friends, focus on my relationship with God and spend time with Him without the distractions of school and work. Another wonderful bonus about the weekend? Some of the Dutch staff from Agape were there! It was so good to see them again, and hearing them talk with their Dutch accents was spectacular, although it made me miss Rotterdam like crazy! Now, this week (week 8 of the semester) is over... and it has arguably been the most unproductive week of my life. I blame this disgusting, 45 degree, windy rainy weather. It makes my bed the most comfortable place to be :)

This weekend will consist of 12 hours of work and a day trip to Ann Arbor to see Green River Ordinance and Boyce Avenue in concert with two of my lovely former roomies! And 14 days from right now? I'll be eating dinner in Nashville, TN and reminding myself to stay calm and keep breathing. I have an interview with Belmont University's School of Physical Therapy, the morning of Friday November 4th! Prayers = greatly appreciated.

I'll try to post again soon...
but oh, how time flies.

live in the moment.

It has been an absolutely insane week.
And honestly, that is an understatement.

Getting back into the swing of managing school, work, Cru, friends and sleep has been a struggle. I don't see my friends nearly as often as I would like, I got less than 5 hours of sleep multiple nights this past week, and I'm feeling like all of the things on my schedule, added together, are aiming to kill me.

I'm not the girl who thrives under stress. I'm not the girl who functions well on little sleep. I'm not the girl who can go non-stop for 16 hours straight. And because I'm not that girl, I find myself living for the weekends... telling myself "Erin, you just need to make it through Thursday night... then you can relax, sleep, work a little bit, and catch up on homework." ... And I hate it.


I want to live in the moment.

I am blessed to be a stressed out college student. I am blessed to have two jobs. I am blessed to have friends that I wish I could see more often. I am blessed to be involved in an amazing ministry. I am blessed to live the life that I do. Even when I have those crazy, non-stop 16 hour days, I don't want to wish them away. I want to enjoy the little things and soak everything in. Walking towards the sunrise as I head to campus to study at 7am. Being able to have friends in classes, and laugh about our crazy professors. Drinking coffee and laughing with a friend instead of studying like we should. These are the moments that I will never get back.

This semester is 1/4 gone... Senior year is 1/8 gone. It's going by quickly, and as life gets even busier, time will fly even faster.

I want to live in the moment.

motivation.

I have absolutely no motivation.
I have 100+ pages to read for Microbiology.
And yet I find myself on the internet and watching the Emmy's Red Carpet.
I know the longer I procrastinate, the less sleep I will get. But, I cannot bring myself to buckle down and read.

Motivation, I don't know where you're hiding... but this semester is officially in full swing and I would greatly appreciate it if you came out of hiding and made yourself comfortable in my life again. Okay? Okay!

Time to get some work done.
Bah.

the little things.

Two weeks.
Two weeks into my senior year.
Two weeks of an insane schedule done.

What have I learned in the past two weeks?
I've learned about microbes... about immigration in the United States... about social psychology... about metabolism and macromolecules... about new procedures at work... how to do fifty different things at Target. I've learned I've learned that when things feel completely out of control, it is okay to take a step back and give up... because regardless of my need to control things, the world can survive without my stressing over little things. I've learned that in the midst of craziness, God is good.

I've learned to appreciate the little things.

A funny text. Getting out of class a little early. A beautiful sunset. A good meal. My snooze button. Venting with my roomie. Catching up with friends I haven't seen since last spring. Playing with toddlers. Getting an hour break to take a nap.

Appreciating the little things and relying on God, I will survive the craziness that is Fall Semester.

Two weeks down.
Fourteen to go.

growing pains.

I've been the same height since the age of 13; I thought I was done with growing pains. Welp, I was wrong. The difference? Instead of throbbing knees, growing pains have arrived in the form of change and stress.

Living in a new apartment. Missing friends who have graduated. Feeling disconnected from a lot of the people I was close with last year. Working two jobs (three if babysitting counts - and I say it does count). Living paycheck-to-paycheck. Applying to grad schools. Working out kinks in the new leadership structure of [Cru.].

This last week of summer has been stressful. But what was I expecting? The whole summer was stressful, so why would the last week be calm? Tomorrow marks the beginning of my last year as an undergrad student. The beginning of year number four. And even though I'm not ready to be this old, this responsible... I know that it is going to be an amazing year. God is going to use these growing pains to rock my world. Big things are going to happen. And I'm excited to see it all unfold.


Fall Semester 2011, it's on.