reminder: change is good.

I don't even know where to begin...

It's been four months. Four crazy, busy, terrible yet awesome months. So much in my life has changed - I went from undergrad to grad school, having two jobs (and incomes) to being unemployed, living in Allendale with my best friend to living in Mount Pleasant with 3 strangers, knowing all the backroads to knowing one route (at first), being at the top of my classes to working my butt off just to pass... Yes, it has been crazy, busy, terrible and awesome.

I miss my best friends - the girls who know what I'm thinking just by looking at me, who I can lay around and do nothing with yet still have a blast, who know exactly who I'm talking about if I use people's names, who have lived life with me for the past four (or more) years. I miss being a half hour from home and being able to go there to do laundry, eat a good meal and get a good night's sleep in the peace and quiet of country living. I miss living less than 10 minutes from my brother and sister. I miss Allendale sunsets. I miss laughing with girls at work about dumb guests - heck, I miss working. I miss walking around campus and seeing friends every other minute. I miss having multiple friends' apartments that I could walk into without knocking because they felt like my own. I miss having two malls in easy driving distance. I miss the Allendale Biggby. I miss Grand Rapids.

But, even though I miss all of those things, and so much more, there are good things happening here in Mount Pleasant. I am in a program that I love - that challenges me and is teaching me the information and skills I need to know in order to be a successful PT. I am two miles away from my grandparents, who, even though I hate to admit it, are getting older faster than I would like - spending more time with them is such a blessing. I am making new friends - people that make me laugh until my eyes are watering and abs hurt, people that don't think I'm weird when I start talking about cadavers or science-y things, people that keep me sane amidst the insanity that this program brings. I am learning to enjoy Mount Pleasant - even though I will always hate the ridiculous traffic, how busy the Meijer is here and how terrible my 3G coverage is - being in a "college town" after four years of living in Allendale is actually pretty fun. I am learning, like I did after high school, who my real friends are - who is putting forth the effort to keep in touch even though I am two hours away and crazy busy. Calls, texts, Facebook message and cards from friends at home help keep me going. I am (still) learning that change is good. Even though it has made me want to cry on a practically weekly basis, and has totally and completely rocked my world, I constantly remind myself - change is good.

band-aid.

i'm sick of the slow pull. i wish i could rip off the band-aid.

not a real, stick-on-me band-aid ... the "say goodbye to all of the people i love" band-aid.

don't get me wrong, i know that this week isn't really "goodbye" ... it's just "see ya soon" ... but that doesn't make it any easier. saying goodbye to some of the best co-workers ever. saying goodbye to the amazing kids i've watched grow for the past two+ years. in reality, i know i've already said goodbye to quite a few friends ... but i still have four more days, and the most difficult goodbyes still remain. i'm not a sappy, emotional person (thank you, God) ... but, these next few days are going to be tough... which is why i wish i could just rip off the band-aid and be done with it all.

thankfully, i know that it will all be worth it. i'm going into an awesome program... to learn how to do my dream job... and i'm going to make some amazing new friends at cmu. and the best part? i have weekends off to either 1. have visitors come up  or 2. sneak out of the lab for a couple days to come home and visit the friends, family and city that i love.

four more days. four freaking days. hokey petes!

nearing the end.

two weeks from today i will officially be a gvsu alum.

the past week has been filled with thoughts of "this is the last time i will _____."

for example, i attended my last cru on thursday night. the fact that it was the last time i will ever see some of those people hasn't really hit me yet, but i'm sure it will eventually. i'll be out of town for the last meeting of the school year, and i was kind of bummed that i would miss the senior send-off. well, God is pretty cool, and didn't let me miss it - for some reason, the senior send-off was done a week early. standing alongside people i have grown to love over the past four years, seeing the number of people we have impacted on this campus, and being prayed over as we are sent out into the world - such a cool experience.

i'm ready to graduate... to start physical therapy school... to make new friends and new memories. however, being ready for all the good stuff, absolutely does not mean i'm ready for the goodbyes or for the end of the best four years of my (almost) 22 years of life.

people always say that "the best is yet to come." well, i certainly hope that's true - cause if it is - my future is going to have to be pretty freakin' fabulous to top my past. and really, i know it will be fabulous - God has some awesome plans for my future and i cannot wait to see what it holds.

here's to the last two weeks, grand valley. let's do this.

28 days.

28 days. 4 weeks. 1 month.

That is how much time I have left at Grand Valley. Cue freak out. I will officially be a college graduate soon soon soon. And then I will officially be a physical therapy student shortly after that. Cue excitement.

Basically, my mind is torn. I don't know how to feel these days, so I'm just going to soak it all in, and enjoy what the next month of my life holds. Yes, even the days I spend at Target... because I only have five more weeks of that, too!

Here's to April... Let's make it a good month!

wishlist.

On May 13 I will be moving to Mount Pleasant. That means I have 53 days left in Grand Rapids. 53 days of gorgeous West Michigan sunsets. 53 days with my friends and family in comfortable driving distance. 53 days of knowing my way around and being the go-to-girl for directions. 53 days to soak in the goodness that is the city I was born in and raised near. I've been thinking about leaving a lot - don't get me wrong, I'm super excited to start PT school... but I'm going to miss quite a few things about the wonderful West Michigan. So, I am making a little "wishlist" of things to do in the next 53 days (half of them involve food - don't judge me).

1. Go to Grand Haven for sunset and give the good ole Nikon a serious workout. If Pronto Pups & ice cream are involved - even better.
2. Golf at The Meadows at least once before leaving Allendale.
3. Have a late-night adventure downtown with a trip to Yesterdog.
4. Breakfast at Marie Catrib's.
5. Eat at Panera lots. There are none anywhere near CMU. Tragic.
6. Hang out with (babysit) my favorite three (possibly four?!) kids.
7. Say adios to working in retail.
8. Walk across the stage at Van Andel & get my diploma.

There are so many more things - but in reality - I am wrapping up my last semester at GVSU and working ~30 hours per week. With only two weeks of "summer vacation," I don't want to be too ambitious with my list - because I hope to check everything off! Some of these are 100% guaranteed to happen (ie #7 & #8). Everything else - I need friends to do them with - so let's make some plans!

people.

it's spring break here at gvsu, and i am hanging out in allendale. i spent the first 3 days of my break (which began almost a week ago) wishing i was going somewhere cool... a warm beach, a cool city, a foreign country... anywhere but staying at gv. but then, my schedule started to fill up and i realized staying home is exactly what i needed this break... because i needed a break... time to catch up, relax and simply be. and i realized that even though i'm not on a beach getting tan, or experiencing an awesome new place, i am being blessed by the people in my life.

hanging out with my two best friends - catching up on life, hanging out and simply not caring that we aren't doing school work or going to bed at a decent hour. working with the best manager a girl could ask for - laughing at the little things, complaining about dumb people and situations, and reminding ourselves that "it's just target." making plans to spend time with my long-lost former roomie, friends that i haven't spent time with at all this year, and relaxing at home with my parents. these people are wonderful, and even though i would rather be in florida relaxing poolside, spending time with these amazing people is making this allendale spring break completely manageable.

change is good.

well, another month has gone by. seriously, time is going so fast this year! everyone told me when i was a freshman that "the next four years will fly by" but i never believed them. until now.

graduation is in 75 days. grad-u-freakin'-ation. when did i get this old?

looking back on old pictures (something i love to do), it feels like i was living in North B 117 yesterday. but oh, how things have changed. i've grown up. i've changed. my friends have changed. my family has changed. everything has changed. but when? when did all of the changes occur? obviously, i can pinpoint big events that changed my family, friends and self - my brother's wedding, three spring break trips with Cru that stretched me and forced me to grow in so many awesome ways, funerals, friends' boyfriends and breakups, big decisions about the future... these are the events and occurrences that changes are made from. and in the past 3.5 years, even though i didn't notice most of it happening, things changed.

i'm glad. things aren't supposed to stay the same. if they had, i wouldn't have an amazing sister-in-law, i wouldn't have amazing memories from road trips and international travel and i wouldn't have the amazing best friends that i do today. i also wouldn't have a plan for my life in 75 days when i am done walking across that stage at van andel as a graduate of GVSU. i'm 99% committed to attending CMU in May for physical therapy school. that final 1% will likely come this week when i sign a lease with girls i know pretty much nothing about. but they're going to be my classmates starting May 14, and we will be going through the trials and tribulations of PT school together, so i'm excited that i will be living with them.

change is good. change is good. change is good.

i'm trying to remember that, in an effort to not freak out about the fact that i will be leaving everything i know in 3 short months.

yes, change is good.

transition.

college is a time of transition.
(topic of blog courtesy of my oh-so-wise brother).
transition from high school to the real world. from childhood to adulthood.

i'm graduating in 3.5 months. 105 days, to be exact. and thankfully, i know that i will be attending physical therapy school. i have at least 3 more years before i have to transition to true adulthood. but even so, this semester is going to be the biggest transition period of my life thus far. come may, i will be moving away from friends and family. i will begin a program in which i know nobody. i will be starting from scratch - transition seems like the biggest understatement of the century. my world is going to be rocked.

but the best part about transition - the awkward, uncomfortable, land-between phases of life - is that God can use that time to mold us, shape us, and prepare us for whatever lies ahead. as terrified as i am to leave allendale at the end of april, i know that God will never take me where he hasn't already prepared something for me. he created every fiber of my being and has taken me through 21.5 years of life... so a little move to a new area code isn't something He can't handle... and it therefore isn't going to be something i can't handle.

transition. world-rocking. i'm in it. it's going to get more intense. here goes nothin'.

Listen to this.

new year.

Well, we are officially 5 days in to 2012, and I have yet to recap 2011. So...

2011 was definitely a year full of ups and downs.

January: Said adios to two amazing Spanish speaking friends for 4 months... sending one off to Costa Rica and the other to Spain. Not having them around for an entire semester was rough!

February: Said goodbye to another friend as she was off to study in Australia for 5 months! Getting through a second semester of physics without her to laugh and study with - also a little rough.

March: Left the USA for the first time, spent 9 days in the Netherlands, and talked to students from over 20 different countries about my faith and theirs (or their lack of it). I rode the metro, ate weird food, almost got run over by crazy Dutch bicyclists and a tram in Amsterdam, toured the Anne Frank House & Van Gogh museum, and even learned a little Dutch. It was by far the most amazing trip of my life.

April: Finished year 3 of college! Hokey petes, what a year.

May: Impulsive trip to Chicago to surprise the long-lost roommate at the airport. Her delayed flights home from Spain in combination with my work schedule resulted in my first shift back at Target being completed on zero sleep... But it was totally worth it!

June: Finished 2/3 of my summer classes, work work work, PT volunteer hours... and turned 21! With the guidance of my trusted big brother and the generosity of some strangers at the Pub, I successfully did 7 shots in less than 40 minutes. No puking or hangover occurred. Success.

July: work work work. PT hours. World Cup Soccer. Tigers game. Ikea. All in all, a good month!

August: Moved back in with the bestest roomie a girl could ask for, but this time in jank-a-lank land instead of Campus View. Weird, but good :)

September: The beginning of the semester from hell. Insane amounts of meetings, work, studying, etc. Submitted all my applications for PT School and began the waiting game.

October: My last Cru Fall Retreat. So great. Green River Ordinance & Boyce Avenue concert in Ypsi.

November: Trip to Nashville to interview at Belmont University. Loved it. Interviewed at GVSU. Hated it. After almost 3 years in retail, I worked my first Black Friday. Thank you, Target for opening at 12am.

December: Got accepted to CMU's program. Got rejected from GVSU. Made Belmont's wait-list. Finished the worst semester of my life (thank you micro, for wrecking my GPA). Worked like a crazy person over break. Brought in the New Year playing Blackjack with my two best friends.

All in all, 2011 was a good year. It was crazy stressful at times. I pushed myself harder than I ever have, and I've learned a lot about myself in the past year. Growing up isn't always fun, but it's going to happen whether I want it to or not... and I'm handling it the best I can... working hard and trying to have some fun while I'm still surrounded by all of my friends.

In 2012, I will be ... taking what appears to be the easiest semester of my life (knock on wood). Graduating from GVSU. Saying goodbye and moving away from Grand Rapids. Starting PT school (where exactly? TBD).

This year is going to bring about more change than I'm ready to handle, but I have the next four months to prepare...

Here goes nothin'.